Hope on a Journey

It would’ve been very easy for me to fall into just being a mother for Gideon. I could’ve let everything else go, turned my back on the normal non-baby things I did every day, and shift all of my focus on the baby.

There were some times when I would do that. Gideon would spend the day with me, glued to my hip or my shoulder, and I would keep him with me. I’d play with him, read to him, watch him sleep.

But I had Simon. He had this way of keeping me grounded, of knowing when I needed time by myself so I wouldn’t lose my mind. If I didn’t have Simon there to help me, to play with Gideon and hold him and love him, I would’ve lost who I was.

Without him, I wouldn’t be Erin anymore.

~*~*~*~

I soaked up as much as I could in Gideon’s early baby months. He looked cuter every day, his hair as black as Simon’s, his eyes changing from the baby blue to a golden brown. At three months he was a chubby baby, full of smiles and belly laughs. He was a ticklish baby, but only on his stomach. His hands and feet weren’t as sensitive.

He would turn his head whenever someone would say something, like he knew who it was and he wanted to join in on the conversation. If he wanted to put in his two cents, he would burble and blow spit bubbles until someone would pick him up and cuddle him.

The doctor in town said he was healthy and growing normally for a werewolf. It was as if all he’d gotten from me was his pale skin and appetite for blood. I hoped that was all he’d gotten from me.

Considering his more dominant werewolf qualities, the doctor said she would track Gideon’s growth as if he were a werewolf and not a mixture of werewolf and vampire. Since he would also take formula, she said he might not want to drink blood when he got older, which did make sense.

The shots were not Gideon’s, or my, favourite part. I hated hearing him cry but I knew it had to be done. Once it was over I gathered him up in a hug as he cried into my neck, the doctor giving me a sympathetic smile. Of course, it was all forgotten after a few minutes, possible because the doctor gave him a tongue depressor to hold and to chew on.

The doctor gave me a check-up, since we were at her office, and she said she wouldn’t be surprised if Simon and I had more children, but since it took so long for us to actually get pregnant, it might not happen right away.

I didn’t mind hearing that, because I was happy enough with just Gideon and Simon, but if we did have another baby we’d love it as much as we loved Gideon.

Walking out of the exam room with Gideon at my shoulder, who’d discovered the joy of chewing on my hair, I found Simon in the waiting room talking to the woman sitting next to him. When he saw us he grinned and stood up, reaching for Gideon. “There’s our chubby little guy.”

I winced when Gideon pulled on my hair, not wanting to let go. “Come on sweetheart, let your father hold you. You can eat my hair when we get home.”

“You could cut some of it off and let him chew on it like a puppy with a hunk of rope.”

“Well, I always thought he took after you more than he did me, Simon.”

Simon gave me a look when I chuckled, and stole Gideon away from me, showing him to the woman he’d been talking to. “This is the little monster I was telling you about.”

“So I see.” The woman reached out to shake his little hand and looked at me. “I’m Leigh-Ann. Your husband was telling me about your son when I mentioned having one of my own. He’s 9. My husband and I still haven’t figured out all of his tricks.”

I smiled at her and nodded. “Well, I’m sure Gideon’s going to end up getting into all sorts of trouble as he gets older.”

We headed out of the building with Gideon trying to chew on Simon’s shirt. “Maybe we should start packing some of those teething rings in the diaper bag. He’s in some kind of chewing phase right now.”

“Looks like.” Simon wiggled Gideon away from his shoulder when we got to the car, and buckled him into the car seat. “You sure his teeth aren’t coming in?”

“The doctor checked and she said everything was fine. He might just want a soother to suck on, or he’s curious about how things taste.”

He shrugged and reached for my wrist, tugging until I was pressed against his chest. “He must get that from me.” Leaning in, he nuzzled my neck. “I’m always curious about how you taste, and what your hair smells like, and your skin.” He kissed a path up my neck to my lips and cupped my face in his hands. “And your lips.”

I smiled against his mouth when he kissed me again and wound my arms around his neck. Sure, we were in the clinic parking lot but I didn’t care, and apparently, neither did Simon.

Once I was able to tear my lips away from his, and it was hard because he’s such a good kisser, I slipped out of his hold. “How about we go home, and maybe when we’re there you can do some more tasting?”

Simon chuckled as I got into the car, and as he drove I sat in the back with Gideon, kissing his little hands. “See, the doctor wasn’t so bad, was she? There were some shots, but you got over that soon enough, didn’t you?”

He burbled at me, grinning, and kicked his legs. Seeing the happy look on his face made me smile. “You’re a happy little boy now, aren’t you?” I kissed his cheek, catching his baby scent of oranges and powder. “You’re my happy little boy.”

When we got back to the main house Simon parked where he usually did and waved at Rory watching us from the open front door. I unbuckled Gideon and picked him up, carrying him into the house as Simon gathered up Rory for a hug. “How’s my puppy?”

“Mommy says nap time.” She yawned a big Rory yawn and settled her head down on his shoulder. “Not seepy.”

“Sure you’re not. Come on, Rory. Let’s go tuck you in.”

I stroked her hair as they walked by towards the stairs. “I’ll be at home when you’re done being the fun uncle.”

He winked at me and I chuckled to myself, heading through the house and out the back door.

I walked through the door of the lake house and found Thane on the couch, leaning forward, his head in his hands. Sighing, I took off my coat and boots, and carried Gideon over to the couch, sitting down with him at my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

His head went up like a shot, and when he saw me he shook his head. “Nothing.” He slid Gideon out of my arms and took him, tickling his neck. “Where’d you take the little guy to?”

“Doctor’s appointment.” I reached out to stroke his back and set my chin on his shoulder, watching Gideon babble at Thane. “Something’s wrong, Thane. No one sits like you were sitting when nothing’s going on. You had that tortured brooding look on your face. Are you going to tell me, or are you going to sit there faking being fine?”

“I’d like to ignore the whole thing, but I have the feeling you’d bug me until I told you what was wrong.”

“Probably.” When Gideon squirmed and started to whimper, I took him back. “You can tell me what the problem is while I’m changing Gideon’s diaper.”

Thane followed me into the bedroom and stood on the other side of the changing table, his hands clenched hard on the railing, his chest working hard as he inhaled.

“That’s going to snap off in your hands if you don’t calm down, so you might want to take a few breaths before I make you go out and buy me a new changing table.”

His hands pushed through his hair after he let go, the expression on his face shifting from irritation to frustration. “When Mom said I had to stay here, I wasn’t just pissed off because I wouldn’t be able to do the job I was supposed to. There was another reason, a more complicated one.”

I powdered and changed Gideon, and looked at my brother with my baby settled at my shoulder. There was something in his eyes, something he tried hard to hide from me, and I recognized what it was. I’d seen it in Gabe’s eyes often enough, and in Mick’s. “And now there’s some girl out there, waiting for you to show up and sweep her off her feet, and you don’t know what to do but it’s killing you not seeing her.”

“You must be some kind of mind reader.”

“Nope, just a girl who’s been separated from the love of her life. It’ll break your heart if you love that person and you don’t do something about it. So, what you should be doing, instead of moping and moaning and whining, is going out there to find that girl of yours.”

Thane looked at me, his head tilted to the side. “You know far too much.”

I shrugged. “It’s possible.” Gideon grabbed onto my hair, and I slipped a soother in his mouth. “Why are you still here?”

“I have no idea. I’ll be back soon. Promise.” He gave me a quick hug, and practically ran out of the house.

What a strange brother, but he wasn’t so bad, when he was in a good mood.

Simon walked into the house as I sat down on the living room couch and plopped down beside me, his arm lying across my shoulders. “Your brother almost ran me down between here and the main house.”

“My brother’s an idiot because he stayed here instead of going after the girl he’s in love with.”

“That explains it.” He took Gideon and bounced him on his knee. “Your uncle is a very odd vampire, Gideon. Don’t make the same mistakes. If you meet some girl and fall in love, or some guy, I won’t judge you, don’t leave them all alone.”

I sighed, shook my head, and laid it down on Simon’s shoulder. “So he should get them on a plane so they can live happily ever after in a new house?”

“No, we’ve already done that, pretty girl. He won’t learn anything if he copies us.”