ItM - Erin - 57

The Situation is Always Changing

When I was younger, I thought it was strange that things always had to change. It was so much better when things stayed the same for as long as possible, because then there wouldn’t be any surprises to deal with.

Surprises could be annoying.

I would always be angry with someone when I was younger and something changed, like when my parents left, and when Eleanor made me do so many jobs at the Arbour House. I hated new things, hated having to learn to do things that were going to make my life harder and give Eleanor that much more control over me.

If Simon hadn’t started paying attention to me when he did, I might’ve left the house and quit so I could actually have a life.

After coming to the new house, I didn’t mind change so much, but the pregnancy hormones and mood swings annoyed me. They didn’t show up all that often, but when they did they changed everything that made me who I was, making me feel like a stranger in my own body.

But the baby, Simon’s and my baby, was worth it. He would always be worth it, no matter what happened.

~*~*~*~

The days started getting shorter and colder, and I got bigger as the baby grew. My wardrobe became a mixture of Michaela’s maternity outfits and Simon’s clothes, his shirts and sweaters big enough to cover me.

They also warmed me up more than the other clothes could.

I drank more blood as my belly expanded, my body craving it, the baby needing it for nourishment. I had to start drinking bottled or bagged blood, because I needed more than Simon could give every day. He understood, but I could tell he was a little upset.

The wolf inside of him wanted to take care of me, reveling in the fact that I was being protected and provided for, even when it was me feeding off of Simon.

I could tell his wolf was enjoying seeing me pregnant. On the nights when Simon let out the more wild side of himself, he would come into the house after running around and rub his nose against my belly, growling softly when the baby would nudge back.

Simon had asked if the small nudges and kicks were normal, and I just shrugged. I still had appointments with the local doctor, but there were some days when she said she didn’t know what would happen. Werewolf pregnancies were different than vampire pregnancies, with the latter sometimes lasting for 10 to 11 months. She kept saying that everything looked fine, that the baby’s heart rate was strong and that she didn’t see any problems, but I still worried a little at times.

One morning Rory woke everyone up with her happy screams after discovering that it was snowing outside. Simon groaned beside me, pulling the afghan at the foot of the bed up over the covers, trying to keep warm while the air was freezing outside.

I just shook my head, quietly laughing, and curled up against his side as much as I could. “You know, she’s going to come running in here and beg you to make snow angels with her.”

“Snow angels are an afternoon activity when it snows. The morning activity is sleeping in.” He turned and pulled me close, his hands warm as they ran up and down by back. “And taking care of mommies-to-be.”

“That still scares me at times, the fact that I’m going to be someone’s mother. What if I screw it up?”

“Then we’ll be screwing it up together, pretty girl.” His lips drifted across my forehead, his nose pushing into my hair as he inhaled. “Besides, we had all those months of taking care of the puppy when she was a baby. It’s not like we haven’t changed diapers or swaddled a baby before.”

“Yes, but have you ever breast-fed a baby before?”

Simon looked down at me with a strange look on his face. “No, but Erin, I won’t be breastfeeding this kid. I don’t have the right equipment.”

I lightly punched his shoulder, then pressed a kiss to the same spot. “I know, but I don’t know if I’ll have to actually breastfeed. Vampire babies aren’t the same as werewolf babies.”

“Well, you’ll just have to ask the doctor about that.”

“I did last week, and she gave her usual ‘we’ll figure out what to do once you deliver and we see what the baby is’ speech.” Sighing, I rubbed my cheek against his shoulder, breathing in his slightly musky scent of fur and forest. “Is it so wrong to want the baby to be normal?”

“No, it’s not, but I figured that any kids of ours wouldn’t ever be normal, that they’d be special, like their mother.”

I chuckled. “Suck up.”

“I think it’s called flattery, Erin.” His fingers skated down my side, tickling me, and his hand moved around to rub slow circles over my belly. “I think you’ve become immune to my charm and wit.”

“Simon, it’s because I know you so well. I know all your jokes and tricks.”

We stayed there for a little while longer, curled up together under the covers in a big ball to keep warm, but then Simon left because both Aurora and her puppy were scratching at the door.

Rory and the puppy were out playing in the snow for most of the day, and it was hard to look away as she had so much fun running through the snow banks, laughing as the dog ran after her, and every so often she would drop down and make a snow angel. Of course, the puppy William would come by and lick her face, wondering what she was doing on the ground, and Rory would start giggling again, rolling around in her fluffy snow coat and snow pants.

I could only hope that our baby would be as happy and creative and loving as Aurora could be.

One night I woke up and found Simon sitting on the bed next to me, his hand moving in slow, gentle circles on my swollen belly. I turned my head to look at him and watched him for a moment or two, wondering what he was thinking. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“Shouldn’t you?” Bending down, he pushed back the covers and pressed his lips to my stomach before covering me up again, tucking the blankets in around me. “You’re the one having a baby, pretty girl. You need your sleep.”

“I need you to not be weird.” I pulled the covers free and pulled him down next to me, bringing the blankets up over the both of us. “I need you, Simon.”

“I need you too, which is why you should be asleep.” He gently pushed me onto my side and pressed his chest to my back, his hand coming around to rest on my stomach above my hand. “How much longer do you think we’ll have to wait before we get to meet the little ankle-biter?”

I nudged him with my elbow and snuggled deeper under the covers. “A couple of months? I’m not sure. The doctor doesn’t even know how much longer it’ll be. I’m sure we’ll know when my water breaks and I go into labour.”

We stayed there not saying anything for a few minutes, and then I turned over so I could look at him. “Why were you sitting there rubbing my stomach earlier?”

“I was just thinking.”

When he didn’t elaborate, I raised an eyebrow and kept looking at him, poking him in the chest. “And? What were you thinking about?”

He sighed, like he was trying to figure out what he was going to say, and he pulled me closer, his mouth brushing against my temple. “I was wondering what he’s going to be like when he gets older, if he’s going to be more like you or like me, and I was thinking about what I’m going to tell him when he asks me questions about life.”

“Like how to drive a car?”

“Like where his grandparents are, and why you drink blood but I don’t, and why Rory’s such a funny puppy while Mick’s kind of boring at times.” His fingers started moving through my hair over and over, and I started to get sleepy. “Just the normal things.”

I nodded and pressed my lips to the corner of his mouth. “You worried you won’t have all of the answers?”

“Sometimes.”

“Me, too.”

Simon hugged me close, so close I could feel his bones pressing against mine. “Is it wrong to not want to let him out of my sight ever, even after he grows up?”

I nuzzled into the curve of his neck, squeezing my eyes shut so I wouldn’t cry. “No, Simon, it’s not wrong.”

I felt the same way, because once I was able to hold onto the baby, I wasn’t going to be able to ever let go. I was tired of waiting for the day when we’d finally get to meet the person kicking me, when we’d get to count the little fingers and toes. I wanted to hug the baby, tell it I loved it so much, and that Simon and I would always be there.

I must’ve made a sniffling noise, because Simon tipped my face up and wiped away the tears that had escaped. “Don’t cry, Erin. We’ll keep him with us. We’ll make sure he stays with us and we’ll make sure that no one takes him away from us.”

“I know.” I buried my face in his neck again because I hated the what if questions that were running around in my head, like what if Simon’s parents showed up and took him somewhere, or what if my mother came back with someone who was even more hard-headed and deluded than Oliver was.

And then there were the what if questions that centered around someone taking the baby away from us because it was part-werewolf and part-vampire. It was going to be a special baby, unique, and I had no doubt that some people were going to be interested in how Simon and I were able to have children.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to clear away the lump in my throat as I rubbed the end of my nose against his shoulder. “Simon, how come you keep calling the baby a him?”

“Erin, sometimes I just know things. It’s not my fault that you can’t smell what I can.”